just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
