K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
