This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
