I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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