Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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