i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
