i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
