I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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