yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
