Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
