I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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