Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
