i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
