I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
