He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
