Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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