so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
