Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
