I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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