I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
