Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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