she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
