he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
