East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
