another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
