He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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