there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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