I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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