I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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