Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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