stop calling my apartment porn island.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
