you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I think I just sharted jello shots
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
