Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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