Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
