ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
