and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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