im holly from the hills drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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