What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I just put wine in my tea
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
