Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
