pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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