I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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