their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
