didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
