I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
