i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
