Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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