Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
