Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
