Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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