the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
