do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
