Well apparently he's into motor boating.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
