Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
