i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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